What Would Margaret Do?
by William Croskey
I am a member of the Loveland PAWS Committee - Promoting an Awareness of Wellness in the Schools. We promote Wellness in a number of ways. One is to beat the drum for Character Education. A source which some Loveland staff members use for resources on character is the Character Council of Greater Cincinnati.
The Character Council sponsors various educational programs and is supporting one at Summit Country Day School on Oct. 23 from 4:00 to 6:30. Registration is $10.
Each month, the Character Council selects a Character Quality of the Month from 49 Character First! qualities. September's Character Quality is Dependability. That is defined as "Fulfilling what I consented to do, even it if means unexpected sacrifice." To practice Dependability , "I will" statements for children and adults alike are: I will.
- Keep my word
- Be careful what I promise
- Correct my mistakes
- Pull my share of the load
- Have a good attitude
Another source of information for these Character Qualities is The Character First! website.
This month, Character First! has a story on its website about Dependability. In A.D. 79, Mount Vesuvius erupted and buried the city of Pompeii. Archeologists have uncovered the remains of some 2,000 inhabitants fleeing or seeking shelter in attics. But one 
soldier remained at his post, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword. Today his armor stands in the National Museum at Naples.
This story impacted me. From the standpoint of military dependability, this soldier was dependably brave to the point of death. Not only did he refuse to leave his post, he was engulfed by lava and died in the effort. I believe the U.S. has many soldiers such as this today, some of them from Loveland. They are dependable soldiers who pull their share of the load - and then some. Our nation benefits from their dependability.
But the story also got me to thinking about others who must decide if or when to leave their "posts." One of the "I will..." statements is to "Be careful what I promise." I think this means that I should consider how far I am willing to go in carrying out a promise I make. Until others decide it's time to leave? Until I am the last one standing? Until death? It also means to me that I should be careful not to commit myself to projects I cannot complete, or which interfere with my previous commitments. The lesson may then be that we should not commit to "posts" which are not worthwhile, or not matched to our skills, or which stretch us to the point that we are not as dependable about our other commitments.
A spouse who remains in an abusive relationship might certainly be described as Dependable. At what cost to self? And for what greater good? A teacher who has high standards (read: "expectations") may be reluctant to revise those expectations for students who are less able in that skill area. Dependability can degenerate into pig-headedness when it is not tempered with other Character Qualities such as Cautiousness (Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions), Discernment (Understanding the deeper reasons why things happen), and Flexibility (Willingness to change plans or ideas according to the direction of my authorities).
NOTE: It is hard enough to adhere to these Character Qualities by themselves; it gets even stickier trying to follow several overlapping Qualities at once. But, maybe I am over-thinking this. Maybe we mostly know when we need to be dependable, steadfast, enduring and "there" for others. It's doing it that is hard.
Woody Allen is reported to have said, "95% of Life is Just Showing Up." For me, one has to be there in order to be dependable. I am not sure my generation understands this. But people from the era that Tom Brokaw called "The Greatest Generation" know how to be there when it counts.
I am reminded of the former secretary at Loveland Intermediate School, Margaret Keifer. Margaret taught me a great deal about "showing up." When a baby shower is held, she is there. When someone gets married, she's there. When a friend dies, she goes to the visitation and the funeral. When someone has a bake sale, she shows up with brownies. She visits the graves of family members on Memorial Day, makes it to retirement parties, and stays to clean up afterwards. Sometimes, when I don't want to have to attend something like this, I think, "What would Margaret do?" Then I pull on my shoes and get moving.
We have a lot of lessons to learn from the Greatest Generation about Dependability. Showing up is one of them.
Bill Croskey, NCSP, is a School Psychologist at the Loveland Intermediate and Middle Schools
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